Pointers on How to Prepare for Marriage
There are lots of things you can do today to make you truly ready for your future marriage. Whether or not you’re in a serious relationship is not even an issue. The sooner you begin this preparation, the better.
Here are five steps to get you started:
Look into your habits.
Do you have any habits which you suspect might bring conflict to your relationship with your future spouse? For instance, do you have poor time management skills, or do you typically leave your dirty laundry lying around? If you’re not sure which habits you may have to change, ask your closest family members or friends to help you. But let them talk freely without fear of offending you. Polish your conflict resolution style. While you’re single, you should take time to identify your style of resolving conflicts, and what you can do to fine-tune it. Think of the last two or three conflicts you’ve encountered. How did you fix the problem? Were there things you think you should have done differently?
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Nobody’s perfect, even you, so learn to be more lighthearted about yourself and your mistakes. Begin with those tiny little frustrations, like forgetting where you put your car keys or mispronouncing certain words over and over. Rather than be angry, laugh at the situation and get on with your day. Embracing yourself for your all that you are can be so liberating.
Look for opportunities to serve.
The best marriages are those where spouses are happy to sacrifice for each other and forget their own needs for the other. During your single years, start cultivating a sense of servanthood. Find opportunities that let you be of service to your church and community. This could mean volunteering to babysit for single mom, driving an elderly neighbor to a friend’s house, or participating in your church’s outreach programs. When you start early with servanthood, it will become a natural part of you when you’re married.
Take stock of your friends.
Lastly, it’s important that you have a support system that helps you become a good better half to your future spouse. A quick friendship inventory will let you know if you have that kind of friends. You can start by answering a few questions. One, do they think that marriage should be valued? Two, do they respect people of the opposite gender? Three, are they honest enough to tell you my flaws? They may not see themselves from this perspective. If you tell them that you need their encouragement in certain areas, they may be glad to give it to you. Keep in mind that it’s not a mistake to choose your friends. There’s no wrong in wanting to be with people who can help you shape a better life.